Dear Internet Diary,
Being a creative is what I absolutely love. There’s no denying it. This is the space where I come alive. I spend late nights editing, early mornings brainstorming, always pouring my heart and soul into this craft. My creative juices feel like they’re running nonstop these days.
But here’s the thing: as much as I love it, this journey is hard.
I’m a university student trying to juggle multiple lives at once. There’s schoolwork demanding its share of my brain. There are relationships, both platonic and romantic that need tending to. There’s family life, where I need to show up and not just disappear into my own little world. There’s even the practical stuff, like making sure I’m eating right so my body has the fuel to match my vision. Balancing all of this while building something I hope will last? That’s no small thing.
Then there are the sacrifices. Financially, because investing in photography while paying for uni is no easy feat. Relationally, because sometimes I get so caught up in building this dream that I realize I’ve missed out on moments with the people I love. And emotionally, because carrying a vision this heavy while still finding my way can be draining.
I’d be lying if I said I don’t sometimes feel guilty. Guilty for missing out. Guilty for putting so much of myself into a craft that isn’t fully “paying the bills” yet. Guilty for chasing something so fiercely that it sometimes costs me pieces of the present. But at the same time, I know this: it will be worth it.
Every sacrifice is an investment. Every tired night and missed outing is a brick laid in the foundation of something bigger. And even though it’s hard, I’m grateful. Because not everyone gets to chase something they truly love.
So yes, dear internet diary, this is hard. But it’s a kind of hard that builds me. And I’d choose it again, every single time.
